Usually when people think about writer’s block or creativity block it’s something they cannot control. I thought I occasionally suffered from this. I thought it was out of my control. However, the longer I thought about this topic, the more I realized I am doing this consciously.
Taking the time out to paint, draw, sculpt or sew can be seen by some as a waste of time. I remember being told I was not allowed study 3D art at high school as an elective subject. I was forced to take up computers as a subject instead, as it was considered to be more important for my future.
Time went by, I grew up. I thought ‘I should study a practical degree. Fashion is tough and art won’t get me a job’. So I studied business. After that, there was work. Money to be earned and traveling to be done. On weekends there were social engagements and some time for creativity. However after work I was usually too tired to do anything but sit in front of the TV and expose my mind to advertising and product placement.
After a change of career and a move to another country. I found I had more time than I had ever had. This was quickly filled with creative interests. When vacation time came around, it was also filled with creative activities. It felt like the practicality of work was getting in the way.
As a result of changes within my current teaching position, work is now filling my time like it use to. I find I am having to suppress my creative thoughts once again. However they somehow manage to slowly trickle out throughout the day, no matter how hard I strive to suppress them. During teaching, they quietly make themselves known, at a meeting they often slip though, making me lose focus and whilst trying to sleep, they almost shout at me so that I can’t sleep.
I am the prison warden and I have locked up my creative thoughts. They have done no harm. In fact they want to make me happy by assisting me to do what I love. To create things. I can choose to unleash these ideas and let them go wild. But I don’t. I let other activities take priority instead. So maybe I do suffer from a creative block. But it is one that I have made myself. I need to find a way to let these ideas out so I can share them with everyone. TAW I feel, is a little step towards this.
Great post Jason! There’s a quote I remember from TAW last time around – I copied it and hung it up (I do that a lot) Julia Cameron says “The blocked artist typically expends a great deal of energy—just not visibly… The blocked artist spends energy on self doubt ” This is a big “hurdle” for me, so I’m looking forward to revisting this idea as I go through TAW again.
I lock up my Creativity too, in dark safe places where no one can hurt it. Unfortunately, the wardens of my prisons are the voices within me that say “You aren’t good enough.” I think I dim my own light, maybe as a protective measure I learned along the way. But that defense is outdated, it keeps me from following my dreams. I hope working through, and actually completing the Artist’s Way, (after failing several other times) will empower me to finally let my light shine as bright as it can burn.
wow– I can totally relate! If I could go back and have a seriously talk with my young high-school self, I would tell her to not care so much about how much college was going to cost and go to the American Academy of Art College and get the degree in Art like she wanted, and to NOT get a psych degree…